Review: Jessica’s Guide to Dating on the Dark Side
© Claire Ramsey
Used by Permission
I think, with the advent of Stephanie Meyer and the Twilight Saga, together with the continued popularity of Anne Rice and the once-and-future-king of vampire stories, Bram Stoker, I can make a safe assumption: humans, especially young adult humans, LOVE the tales of the bloodsucking fiends that look at us like we look at cheeseburgers.
Well, OK, we’re modern now – we’ve given over most of the ‘making a deal with the devil’ side of vampirism, or rather, our favorite vampires (like the Cullen family) have. Either that, or the vamps are so darned good-looking, well-spoken and -tailored, that we don’t care that they are forever damned (witness Louis and Lestat from Rice’s Interview with the Vampire.)
So it comes to pass that human cheeseb — I mean, vampire fans like myself — who are panting for the next installment of a vampire series with us on the menu — can RELAX! It’s here! The perfect book to pass the time while waiting for Stephanie Meyer, or, better yet, supplanting that whole bland series with something equally vampiric and infinitely more toothsome.
Enter Beth Fantaskey (with a name like that, how can you lose?) and Jessica’s Guide to Dating on the Dark Side, narrated by Pennsylvania teenager Jessica Packwood.
“You know, Jess…. In the back of your mind you know you have good reason to fear Lucius….”
These are Jessica’s words to herself. What do you do when at the beginning of your senior year you are minding your own business at the bus stop and see (cue dark-chocolate-romantic music please) a tall, dark boy dressed all in black staring at you from across the street? Moreover, what CAN you do when he turns up at your house later, hanging out with your yoga-teaching, lentil-loving foster parents and claims that you are actually Princess Antanasia Dragomir of a ruling vampire family? And that he, Lucius Vladescu, is your betrothed?
If you answered, assume that said boy is crazy and if you just ignore him long enough he will take himself and all of his vampire stories with him back to Transylvania — then you think like Jessica. Push comes to shove when Jessica learns from the couple who raised her just what happened to her birth parents…
I thoroughly enjoyed this story, and in fact from about the middle of the book on, found it very hard to put down. Fantaskey combines all the elements of school vampire fiction that are attractive to so many in the Twilight series with something that Meyer is still learning: good writing! Not only is the story taut with little time from one adventure or discovery to the next, but it is filled with clever character development and moments of humor to lighten the mood. (Rather like Shakespeare’s use of comic characters to make his tragic plays watchable…) My favorite examples would have to be the letters Lucius sends to his Uncle Vasili in Transylvania. Here is a snip from one such letter:
“One can eat the lentil unadorned; marry it off to its first cousin, the oafish ‘bulgur’; or attempt to drown it in harsh vinegar for a ‘vegan salad.’ But the lentil, alas, will always survive. … And do not even speak to me of ‘Jell-O’ and ‘sloppy joes.’ ”
These letters are the perfect tool for letting us see Lucius other than through Jessica’s eyes, and also how his perspective begins to change as he gets to know Jessica and her world. So different from the rigid, disciplined, even violent world of Uncle Vasili and his, Lucius’s, place as a vampire prince… Would Uncle Vasili like to fly over to watch Lucius play in his basketball game?
In the end, this is a love story that few vampire or romance fans will be able to resist. It combines The Princess Diaries (yes, Jessica, you are a princess!) with the school-vampire tale the Twilight Saga has popularized, with magical results. Some folks will no doubt say that Beth Fantaskey is the next Stephanie Meyer. I think, rather, that Beth Fantaskey is Stephanie Meyer, plus a hefty dose of exciting storytelling ability.
“I think, with the advent of Stephanie Meyer and the Twilight Saga, together with the continued popularity of Anne Rice and the once-and future-king of vampire stories, Bram Stoker, I can make a safe assumption: humans, especially young adult humans, LOVE the takes of the bloodsucking fiends that look at us like we look at cheeseburgers … plus a hefty dose of exciting storytelling ability.”
What? Let me read this again! Oh, no; I get the same cold, disgusting, revolting stomach turning feeling that I did when I read it the first time. Have we peered into the abyss of our cultures destruction so long that we are now immune to the impact that glorifying horrible, fantasy fiction has on our psyche?
In the 1930’s, a deformed psychopath realized that if the “masses” were told something – ANYTHING – loud enough, often enough, they could be convinced that it was not only accurate but true enough to believe so deeply that it destroyed a nation, 20 million people and changed the face of the world.
Although “Horror movies and vampires” have taken the concept of entertainment to levels never imagined when censorship was relaxed in the later years of the 20th Century, the fact our society now seems to accept that fangs plunged into the human neck so that streams of blood flow profusely as the victim screams is normal rings loud alarm bells for me.
We wonder why and/or how our young people can kill with no apparent remorse yet turn a blind eye to video games, TV programs, movies, books, magazines and arcade games that glorify and dehumanize the results of violence.
Ms. Ramsey, I am dismayed by this review and disappointed that a person of your intellect and obvious literary talent would have presented it. Of course, as a senior citizen who is old fashioned and “out of tune with the times”, my views may not reflect those of your readers – which makes my point!
Lewis H. Edwards
2142 Oxford Road
Henderson N.C. 27536
Comment by Lewis H. Edwards — December 22, 2009 @ 8:57 pm
Claire,
I love paranormal romance novels. I tend to disagree with Mr. Edwards on the seriousness of popular fascination with vampirism on many points.
What a wonderful escape of fantasy! People get excited about comparing their own reactions to this stuff and the creativity of the genre.
Unlike Mr. Edwards, I do not find it a threat to post modern society. I find it amazing that Transyvanian Vlad the Impaler (the model for Bram Stoker’s novel) was much more horrible and horrific than any of our media-induced sociopaths who kill with no remorse. Germany’s SS soldiers and Pol Pot’s Khmer Rouge (sp?) had no exposure to video games or popular culture and yet seemed to kill on a grand scale without remorse. Violence is a part of the human psyche. Hopefully traditional practices of human sacrificial killings like the Aztec, Incas and Druids practiced is on the downswing.
I think that the miracle of the Christmas season is that through spiritual connection with God, we can all be more than our instinctive animal driven urges and can experience the highest forms of heroism, self sacrifice, altruistic love and forgiveness. We become those things that we focus on…..
Comment by Beautiful Dreamer — December 23, 2009 @ 6:47 am
I guess I have been told, have I not?
Comment by Lewis H. Edwards — December 23, 2009 @ 6:04 pm
Dear Mr. Edwards and Beautiful Dreamer,
Thank you for your insightful, eloquent comments. It is rare, and a compliment, that a review will get even one thoughtful comment, let alone two.
Clearly (since I wrote the review and enjoy vampire fiction), I agree with Beautiful Dreamer that if post-modern society’s downfall is imminent, or even on the horizon, that vampire fiction has little to do with it.
However, Mr. Edwards, I also agree that media that, as you say, dehumanize and glorify violence (my personal favorite to despise is games like Grand Theft Auto) may have a measurable negative impact on societal safety.
I don’t think that this book will add to it; it is beautifully written and, as does much of vampire fiction, emphasizes the difficulty of human ethics and choices in a fictional environment. Maybe most of us don’t have to choose whether to embrace our parents’ vampire natures and our heritage as a vampire princess, or spend life as ‘vanilla human,’ but many of us do struggle with parents’ expectations and our own. To read fiction where people are in similar, or even worse, situations is comforting at the same time it is entertaining.
To conclude: I invite both of you to read the book — that is why I give positive reviews to certain books, after all — and if you would like to continue this conversation, I would be very interested to do so.
Thank you again for your comments.
Comment by Claire Ramsey — December 29, 2009 @ 9:22 am